The Passover Seder has a series of 'fours' in its text. There are four cups of wine, four questions, and a discussion about four types of children. People throughout the ages have pondered - who are the four children? Are they among us? Are they within us? This reading about the four children is different from many others.
Our version deals with the continuing struggle in the Middle East between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
The Angry Child asks, "Why should I compromise?"
And we answer that we choose the route of compromise because the alternative is the mutual destruction, both moral and physical, of our two people. If we fail to compromise we will lose a vision of the future for our children.
The Naive Child asks, "Why can't we just love each other?"
And we answer that neither of us can live as if history has not happened. Unfortunately, too much blood has already been shed on both sides. It takes time to build trust.
The Frightened Child asks, "How can I be safe?"
And we answer that we are both afraid. Neither of us will be safe until the other is safe.
The Wise Child asks, "Why don't we share the land in peace?"
We will hope for, and work toward, peace in the Middle East.
KADESH: Happy Hour begins
Leader: We were slaves in Egypt, now we are free. Let’s have a Seder! What’s on the Seder plate? Egg, herbs, bone, greens, charoset Let’s drink some wine. Why is this night different? Why is this child different? Ten plagues on the Egyptians. Enough already – Dayeinu! Drink wine again. Matzah, maror, hillel sandwich, let’s eat! Where’s the Afikoman? Thanks for the food! Drink some more wine. Open the door for Elijah! Drink some wine – last one. Thanking and singing. Next year in Jerusalem!
LARRY WATCHES AS HIS MANAGER AND BEST FRIEND, JEFF GREENE, AND JEFF’S WIFE, SUSIE, EAGERLY SEARCH FOR HAMETZ AROUND THEIR HOUSE.
LARRY DAVID
What is this? What are you guys doing?
SUSIE GREENE
What do you mean, what are we doing? We’re searching for Hametz?
LARRY DAVID
Since when do you care about Hametz? I’ve gone to Italian restaurants with you the night after Seders?
SUSIE GREENE
That was before Rabbi Rebecca and her Center and most importantly…
JEFF GREENE
Hashem.
LARRY DAVID
No! Not you two, too.
SUSIE GREENE
It’s a miracle, Lar. We’ve tried couples therapy. With the most expensive psychologists in this city. For years. Decades. And nothing ever worked. But the last month of daily workshops at Rabbi Rebecca’s Center and…
LARRY DAVID
What? She’s healed everything?
SUSIE GREENE
Not her. Hashem did. Including my fibromyalgia.
JEFF GREENE
It’s true. And I lost eighteen pounds. Chai!
LARRY LOOKS INCREDULOUSLY AT JEFF.
LARRY DAVID
Jeff, are you hametzing serious with this hametz?
JEFF GREENE
Yes. I am. And we are. And could you please stop using that bad language?
LARRY DAVID
What bad language? Hametz? I can’t say hametz anymore? You’re not saying hametzing hametz anymore?
JEFF GREENE
At least not for Passover.
LARRY DAVID
Why?
JEFF GREENE
Along with physical Hametz, all leavened bread. We’re also clearing away all spiritual Hametz.
LARRY DAVID
What the hametz is spiritual Hametz?
SUSIE GREENE
What is there not to get? It’s all that mishegas in your head. We have to sweep up all that sick mishegas in that sick head of yours, Larry! That sick mind, body, and soul. Sweep up all the sick mishegas in it. And burn it!
LARRY DAVID
Burn it?!
SUSIE GREENE
Burn it.
JEFF GREENE
Should we say the prayer?
SUSIE GREENE
Yes, let’s say the prayer.
EVERYONE:
Baruch atah Ad-nai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al biur Hametz.
Praised are You, our G-d, who blesses us and instructs us to remove Hametz.
LARRY DAVID
This whole thing sounds like mishegas to me.
The Passover Seder has a series of 'fours' in its text. There are four cups of wine, four questions, and a discussion about four types of children. People throughout the ages have pondered - who are the four children? Are they among us? Are they within us? This reading about the four children is different from many others.
Our version deals with the continuing struggle in the Middle East between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
The Angry Child asks, "Why should I compromise?"
And we answer that we choose the route of compromise because the alternative is the mutual destruction, both moral and physical, of our two people. If we fail to compromise we will lose a vision of the future for our children.
The Naive Child asks, "Why can't we just love each other?"
And we answer that neither of us can live as if history has not happened. Unfortunately, too much blood has already been shed on both sides. It takes time to build trust.
The Frightened Child asks, "How can I be safe?"
And we answer that we are both afraid. Neither of us will be safe until the other is safe.
The Wise Child asks, "Why don't we share the land in peace?"
We will hope for, and work toward, peace in the Middle East.
KADESH: Happy Hour begins
Leader: We were slaves in Egypt, now we are free. Let’s have a Seder! What’s on the Seder plate? Egg, herbs, bone, greens, charoset Let’s drink some wine. Why is this night different? Why is this child different? Ten plagues on the Egyptians. Enough already – Dayeinu! Drink wine again. Matzah, maror, hillel sandwich, let’s eat! Where’s the Afikoman? Thanks for the food! Drink some more wine. Open the door for Elijah! Drink some wine – last one. Thanking and singing. Next year in Jerusalem!
LARRY WATCHES AS HIS MANAGER AND BEST FRIEND, JEFF GREENE, AND JEFF’S WIFE, SUSIE, EAGERLY SEARCH FOR HAMETZ AROUND THEIR HOUSE.
LARRY DAVID
What is this? What are you guys doing?
SUSIE GREENE
What do you mean, what are we doing? We’re searching for Hametz?
LARRY DAVID
Since when do you care about Hametz? I’ve gone to Italian restaurants with you the night after Seders?
SUSIE GREENE
That was before Rabbi Rebecca and her Center and most importantly…
JEFF GREENE
Hashem.
LARRY DAVID
No! Not you two, too.
SUSIE GREENE
It’s a miracle, Lar. We’ve tried couples therapy. With the most expensive psychologists in this city. For years. Decades. And nothing ever worked. But the last month of daily workshops at Rabbi Rebecca’s Center and…
LARRY DAVID
What? She’s healed everything?
SUSIE GREENE
Not her. Hashem did. Including my fibromyalgia.
JEFF GREENE
It’s true. And I lost eighteen pounds. Chai!
LARRY LOOKS INCREDULOUSLY AT JEFF.
LARRY DAVID
Jeff, are you hametzing serious with this hametz?
JEFF GREENE
Yes. I am. And we are. And could you please stop using that bad language?
LARRY DAVID
What bad language? Hametz? I can’t say hametz anymore? You’re not saying hametzing hametz anymore?
JEFF GREENE
At least not for Passover.
LARRY DAVID
Why?
JEFF GREENE
Along with physical Hametz, all leavened bread. We’re also clearing away all spiritual Hametz.
LARRY DAVID
What the hametz is spiritual Hametz?
SUSIE GREENE
What is there not to get? It’s all that mishegas in your head. We have to sweep up all that sick mishegas in that sick head of yours, Larry! That sick mind, body, and soul. Sweep up all the sick mishegas in it. And burn it!
LARRY DAVID
Burn it?!
SUSIE GREENE
Burn it.
JEFF GREENE
Should we say the prayer?
SUSIE GREENE
Yes, let’s say the prayer.
EVERYONE:
Baruch atah Ad-nai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al biur Hametz.
Praised are You, our G-d, who blesses us and instructs us to remove Hametz.
LARRY DAVID
This whole thing sounds like mishegas to me.
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