What is the purpose of this ritual?

What is the desired impact of this ritual? 

Does this ritual revolve around a particular person or group of people, lifecycle event, pr change of seasons? 

Transition or Transformation: Is the focus of this ritual to transition or transform the key person from one state to another? Reinforce a current state? Build up protection, support, or something else for the key person or people? (For example: letting go, welcoming in, clearing energy)

Rosh Hashanah is the holiday that begins the Jewish New Year. It is a time of celebration, but it is also a holiday filled with prayer, reflection, and planning for the future. There are many rituals and prayers particular to Rosh Hashanah which express these themes and create more opportunities for people to connect to this holiday.

There are also many elements of Rosh Hashanah connected with the fertility journey.  For many people struggling to grow their families, this is one of the hardest times of the year.  The rituals of Rosh Hashanah may offer opportunities for reflection and rejuvenation when used to support the fertility journey. The rituals in this booklet are designed to do exactly that. 

Take time to review these rituals before Rosh Hashanah begins so you can decide if any will help you prepare for the holiday.  You can revisit this book throughout the Hebrew month of Tishrei, anytime you need.

May these rituals help you welcome in a new year, and may they offer you healing, inspiration, and comfort during this time.

This Rosh Hashanah ritual is crafted around the practice of sounding the shofar.  It invites you to create a safe space to express your longing for a child by allowing yourself to express sounds that are similar to the shofar blasts.  You may want to perform this ritual in a peaceful, quiet place where you are alone and free from distractions. 

One of the central rituals of Rosh Hashanah is the sounding of the shofar. There are a number of different perspectives on why we blow the shofar. One idea is that the shofar comes to wake us up to become better people and be more cognizant of our actions.  The loud noise of the shofar can jolt us and propel us toward action.  

However there is another understanding of the meaning of the shofar blasts, which describes it as being a mother’s cry as she worries about and longs for her child.  The mother of Sisera is described in the Book of Judges as someone who is in distress since her son has not yet come home from war.  Sisera, an army general who is the enemy of the Jewish people, is already dead when the text discusses his mother.  However, she does not seem to know that yet.   The verse states:

(Judges 5:28)
And she wailed bitterly
Va’yitabev Em Sisera
 וַתְּיַבֵּ֛ב אֵ֥ם סִֽיסְרָ֖א

If the shofar blasts are meant to mimic the sobs of Sisera’s mother, then there is a deep and intrinsic connection between the sound of the shofar and of a parent longing for a child.  Though the mother of Sisera may have already birthed her child, he is gone and so her heart is longing.  A parent who has not yet met their child and is struggling to grow their family also has a heart that is longing.

There is powerful healing in using one’s voice and allowing oneself to wail.  By emulating the shofar, you can release some of the deep-seated pain you might be holding inside and that may feel constricting and overwhelming.  This ritual offers you the opportunity to release some of that pain though your voice. 

I invite you to find a place in your home where you can be completely alone.  You may choose to do this ritual when you are the only one home, or in a room where nobody can hear you.  You are looking to find a place where you can be alone in order to remove any feelings of inhibition and allow yourself to use your voice without reservation. 

Once you have found the perfect place, I invite you to take three deep breaths.  You can start expressing your voice with the shofar blast called the tekiah.  A tekiah is one long, continuous sound.  When you feel ready, use your voice and make one long continuous sound. You may find that what your body releases is a cry, or a scream, or a note from a song.  Whatever comes, welcomes it. 

When your tekiah is complete, I invite you to try the next shofar blast, the shevarim. The shevarim consists of the three consecutive blasts that are shorter than a tekiyah.  When you feel ready, take a breath and then allow these three sounds to come from inside of you. Allow any sound that comes and welcome their expression. 

When you feel ready, try working with the next shofar blast, the teruah.  The teruah is a series of 9 very short consecutive blasts. Allow these short but powerful sounds to emerge from within you.  Do not feel bound by the number nine, but simply allow yourself to go for as long as you need. 

The final blast is the tekiah gedolah.  The tekiah gedolah is a tekiah that is even more elongated. This sound is the final blast after a long series and encompasses all of the others within it.  Before you express this blast, take a deep breath and see if there are any particular moments from your fertility journey that are rising up.  Are there any feelings you have about your journey that you are not able to express through words? Perhaps you can express them through your shofar blast. When you feel ready, allow the tekiah gedolah to emerge from within you. 

After expressing these shofar blasts, you may want to do something nurturing for yourself and allow yourself to rest.  You may want to journal, listen to music, go for a walk in nature, or engage in any other activity that will allow you to process the ritual you just engaged in. 

When you hear the shofar blasts this year, think about the thoughts and feelings that arose for you.  They can serve as guides as you arise to greet the new year.

This Rosh Hashanah ritual offers you an opportunity to express your own thoughts and feelings as holy prayers. It includes a hand washing ritual and an opportunity for writing.  For this ritual you will need a bowl of water, a cup, a pen, and a journal/notebook. You may want to perform this ritual in a peaceful, quiet place where you are alone and free from distractions. 

The Rosh Hashanah Services are so abundant with prayers that Rosh Hashanah even has its own separate prayer book called a machzor. This machzor is filled with liturgical writing that expresses a plethora of thoughts and wishes for the upcoming year. There are words that express praise, thanksgiving, requests, and phrases that mark the holiness of the day.  

However, as beautiful as the machzor might be, it was not written by you. What would it feel like for you to recite a prayer that you wrote yourself and expressed your own thoughts and feelings? 

This ritual will guide you toward creating a prayer that is personal and expresses what you are feeling in this given moment.  Throughout this process, think about this in whatever way works best for you.  If you feel like directing your prayer toward God, then do so. If you prefer for your prayer to serve more as an expression of your thoughts aloud to yourself, feel encouraged to do so.  If there is another way you would like to approach this prayer, please feel free to do so.

To begin, gather your bowl of water, cup, and towel.  Have your notebook and pen nearby.

You may want to play inspiring or calming music in the background.     

Take a few relaxing breaths and allow your gaze to rest gently on the water.  When you feel ready, take your cup and begin to scoop up some water and gradually pour it back into the bowl.  Keep repeating this movement until you no longer need to think about it, and your body begins doing it naturally.  Start thinking about what is deep in your heart right now and what you are feeling.  If the water that you are pouring over and over were coming from inside your soul, what words would be floating in the water?  What emotions would be flowing from your cup? 

Read, chant, or sing the following words from the book of Lamentations:
שִׁפְכִי כַמַּיִם לִבֵּךְ, נֹכַח פְּנֵי אֲדֹ-נָי
Shifchi ka’mayim libech, nochach pinei Ado-nai

Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord
(Lamentations 2:19) 

Take a break from pouring the water and spend some time writing and pouring out your soul. Write whatever comes to mind. If you feel it would benefit you to have writing prompts, use the questions below.

*What stage have you reached in your present journey?
*What are you grateful for at this moment?
*What challenges are you facing at this moment?
*What are you praying for, and what do you expect will be granted? 
*What causes your blood to boil and your anger to flare?
*What causes your throat to tighten and your tears to fall?

Take as long as you would like to write.  You do not need to edit or try to create a perfect piece of prose.  Focus on pouring out your heart and just letting whatever comes flow from your heart onto the page. 

When you feel like you have written all there is to write, you may want to recite the following words to conclude your prayer. 

יִהְיוּ לְרָצון אִמְרֵי פִי וְהֶגְיון לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ. ה' צוּרִי וְגואֲלִי:

Yihiyu le’ratzon imrei fi ve’higyone libi lefanecha Ado-nai tzuri ve’go’ali.

May the words of my mouth and the rumination of my heart be acceptable in front of You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Now, think about what you want to do with this prayer. Do you want to bring it with you and recite it at synagogue?  Recite it every night before you go to bed or each morning as you start the day?  Or, perhaps this was something you were called to write in this moment, but is not a prayer you would want to recite again.  

May each coming day bring new words and fresh ideas that you can pour out like water. 

The rituals in this booklet are intended to support you and offer you opportunities to connect to the themes of Rosh Hashanah no matter where you are along your fertility journey.  The New Year may offer you an opportunity to immerse yourself in greater self care, and allow you new opportunities to reflect upon and process your fertility journey.  As you look back on this past year, and envision the one ahead, consider how you may want to use these rituals and how they may guide you toward the next step in your journey. 

A fertility journey may feel quite lonely, and you may want to grasp onto this prayer which expresses deep longing in the plural.  You are not alone on this journey, and you are held in the heart of so many others who know this path and who wish for your dreams to be fulfilled.  

רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם מַלֵּא מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֵינוּ לְטוֹבָה בְּרַחֲמִים, וְזַכֵּנוּ לָבֹא לְכָל מַה שֶּׁבִּקַּשְׁנוּ מִלְּפָנֶיךָ, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָמִיד
 (ליקוטי תפילות חלק ב’ תפילה מ)  

Ribono Shel Olam, malei m’shalotainu le’tovah b’rachamim, ve’zacheinu la’vo lekol ma she’bikashnu m’lfanecha, she’nizkeh le’hiyot bi’simcha tamid. (lekutei tefillah, section 2, prayer 40) 

Sovereign of the Universe (feel free to substitute this phrase as you see fit), fulfill our requests for good in a merciful way, and may we merit to come to experience everything that we have requested and may we discover a life filled with abundant joy. 
May the rituals in this booklet bring you comfort, inspiration, and a pathway toward beautiful new beginnings.